Before “Caregiver Advocate" There Was Her

 

Lately, I’ve been meeting and talking with people almost every day who have unexpectedly found themselves in the caregiver role. Even after connecting them to resources, support groups, or guidance, it keeps reinforcing just how urgently this conversation is needed.

 

Caregiving doesn’t care about title, industry, income, education, or socioeconomic status. It is impacting people from all walks of life in ways most workplaces still don’t fully see.

 

So instead of waiting, I decided to send this now.

 

Because before the speaker stage, before the keynotes, and before I found the language to explain this work… there was her. 

 

OMGoodness, I can’t remember what I wore yesterday unless I see the discarded clothes on my bedroom floor, but I remember this picture like it was taken yesterday: April 18, 2012.

 

At that point, we were almost two years post-stroke.

 

My mom, “Little Mama,” was in nursing home number three of four. Pastry school was behind me. I had already opened and closed my brick-and-mortar bakery, Decadence Bakery & Pastries in Normal, Illinois. I was back working my contract position at State Farm. This was years before Beyond Decadence, Inc. was born.

 

What I didn’t know then was that I still had four and a half more emotionally charged years ahead of me. One more nursing home. Decision fatigue was on the way. Exhaustion had already taken up residence. More fighting akaadvocating. More learning how caregiving quietly changes every part of your life, including work.

 

My stress, health, and weight spiraled as I struggled to juggle it all.

 

Little Mama lived 6 years, 7 months, and 1 day after her hemorrhagic stroke because I was by her side advocating for her the entire time.

 

By the time she graduated to be with Jesus, there would be six short years before I later stepped up again while Papa Kemp battled congestive heart failure and late-stage Alzheimer’s states away.

 

Every loved one deserves that kind of advocate. And no employee should fear repercussions at work for showing up for the people they love. Somewhere along the way, I realized caregiving wasn’t just changing families at home. It was quietly reshaping the workplace too.

 

Back then, I had no idea those experiences would eventually become the foundation of the work I do today. If you look back over my career or resume, I have undoubtedly had one of the most non-linear paths ever: IT consultant, pastry school, pastry chef, bakery owner, back to IT consultant, and now speaker and caregiver advocate.

 

Thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me while I rode the struggle 🚌 trying to explain what I actually do. 😂

 

I went on doing what I thought I was “supposed” to do until nearly two years ago, when external political forces pushed me into a major business pivot.

 

I wish I were joking, but I spent the last two years confusing everyone trying to explain my work. 😩 If confused looks were currency, I’d be wildly wealthy by now.

 

Two years of refining. So much clarifying. And even more repositioning. Tons of rebuilding. 

 

My brain felt like it was on 🔥. It was utterly exhausting. At one point, I was so tired of what my daughter and I called the “puppy dog head tilt” of confusion every time I tried to explain my work, that I seriously contemplated just telling everyone I was a Walmart greeter. 😂

 

But perseverance brings clarity and reward.

 

One of the biggest lessons I learned came from my NSA Carolinas (National Speakers Association) community. They encouraged us to “build in public” by sharing the draft before it was perfect so people could help refine the message until it finally clicked.

 

After nearly two years, it finally did.

 

Just one week ago, I landed on language that explains the work clearly and quickly. And when I say quickly, I mean in under 10 seconds people finally understand what I do:

 

 

And yes… now the “Chef” part makes sense too. 😉

 

 

Employees don’t always say, “I’m a caregiver.” Leaders just start noticing changes:

And assumptions quickly fill in the blanks.

 

I realized performance often didn’t change. The context did.

 

Today, that message is resonating in rooms that include leaders from organizations and associations connected to ATD (Association for Talent Development), alongside insights shaped through my experience at Tuck Executive Education at Dartmouth.

 

For the first time in nearly two years, the website finally explains the work clearly, quickly, and in a way people instantly understand:

 

I’m sharing this widely because I want to become a stronger voice for caregivers in the workplace.

 

So here’s my ask:

 

 

And the numbers are growing exponentially every single day as Boomers continue to age.

 

On average, family caregivers spend nearly 26% of their income on caregiving expenses while also trying to maintain careers, households, marriages, parenting responsibilities, and their own health.
 

The workforce is already changing. Organizations just haven’t fully caught up to the reality of what employee caregivers are carrying yet. The organizations that recognize this early will have a very different workforce culture than the ones that don’t.

 

This work helps leaders experience what employee caregivers are carrying before assumptions become disconnection, burnout, or turnover.

 

These conversations belong everywhere leaders gather.

 

I’m also looking for introductions to people who plan:
• Conferences
• Leadership retreats
• HR and wellness events
• Association meetings
• Employee experience initiatives
• Keynotes and breakout sessions
• Topics around burnout, retention, workplace wellness, leadership, caregiving, or employee wellbeing

 

Caregiving is industry agnostic. It impacts employees in corporate offices, hospitals, manufacturing plants, schools, nonprofits, small businesses, high-pressure teams, and Fortune 500 companies alike.

 

So as you read this, if a person, company, conference, HR leader, or event immediately comes to mind, would you consider:
• Forwarding this newsletter to them
• Sharing my website or speaker reel
• Reposting my LinkedIn content
• Making an introduction
• Referring me as a speaker or resource

 

That kind of advocacy means more than you know. This work isn’t just about me. 

 

It’s about making sure the invisible workforce of employee caregivers finally becomes impossible to ignore in the workplace.

 

The workforce changed. Leadership must too.

 

 

More to come. 💜

Chef Maria